"Strive for Omnipotence, Strive for Simplicity."

Monday, January 05, 2004 :::

It's been a good run......

But, alas, all good things must come to an end. This is one of them.
I've decided to close this blog and star anew someware else. Although, you will have to figure out the link for yourself.

I bid you all adue.

However I leave you with two clues to find the new one.

1> it's on diaryland now
2> C*****M****r

::: posted by Eir at 11:10 PM

Sunday, December 28, 2003 :::

it's 3:30am in the morning on december 28th.
I can't sleep. I'm in emense amounts of pain and it hurts to move but i couldn't stay in bed for some reason.
I have no idea really why i'm typing this, maybe some reason will be found but i doubt it.
I'm slowly turning into some kind of vampiric creature. can't stand sunlight, is wide awake at 3:30 in the morning.
I left my cell on in my room tonight. at 2:53am, it started yelling screaming and beeping at me.....it's alarm went off. I don't remember setting an alarm on it. But for some reason it went off. I checked the alarm thing on it....it was set to off, I still do'nt understand why it went off. Did something important happen at 2:53am? I honestly don't know, but I know now to turn the stupid thing off at night if it's in my room.

My stomach is yelling at me now. interesting, hungry for once. I 've had to force food down my esophagus....(too much bio for me), recently. No idea why, maybe i'll figure it out, just like i'm still trying to figure out what exactly it is i'm typing.
I think i'm half awake, I can't really tell over the pain i'm feeling at this moment.

I'm glad christmas is over, last week was aweful, but i came through with minimal bumps, scrapes, and bruses. Hopefully things can only get better.

The difference between and optimist and a pesimist is: The pesimist says "Things can't get any worse then this", and the optomist says "oh yes it can!"
- The best of teh best of bridge cook book.

I sware those women are the most cynical people in the world. Get a group of middle aged women playing bridge and making a cook book and look out. And I thought I was bitter and cynical.

Oh well, I now know that if I'm ever in a really bitter mood, I'll just read one of the many books we have in this house.

Still not tired, but i may as well try to sleep.
goodnight all

::: posted by Eir at 2:33 AM

Wednesday, December 24, 2003 :::

Typed without thinking in class one day.

And the re-afermation continues to drill through my mind like a hundred rusty screws.
No longer does it have any purpose.
it breaks off when it hits anything unpentrable leaving the sharp pointy tip as a reminder that it is there. Continuing to rust away at my mind.
No I don't need to be told that Iam beautiful by people just out of the blue, for it feels incenceer. Almost as if they feel sorry for me so they have to say something nice to me. Maybe they're one of those people that try to do at least one nice thing a year and throw it in at the last minute before the year fails into another.
I will never know the answer to that, for I will never say anything back to someone.
I am secluded from the world, my mind is trapped in a vice and wants to escape. chains are wrapped and bolted closed, no escape.
My mind wants to be free.

I can't feel anything anymore. I look from person to person, looking in their eyes wondering if i can find anything there at all. I see their soul in thier eyes, but I feel nothing.
No butterflies, no hatred, no happyness. no nothing.
I'm trapped, no light, no sence of place. - unknown

The floor falls out from under me, and I fall.
Through a darkness of the world, I continue the endless fall.
Not knowing when or if there is an end
All that exists is darkness and falling.
Freely, just let go. - unknown

::: posted by Eir at 12:03 PM

Sunday, December 21, 2003 :::

Saw the Return of the King last night. my opinion? god it's way too long. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to long. then again, the excessive waiting for 2 and 1/2 hours befor ehand might not have helped, spent 6 hours in the theatre.
There's a few moments that my friends would appreciate. As well as many creative one liners from gimli. Very good movie, but way way way way way to long. ehem
yes someone is going to say i told you so and another one is going to ask if i fell asleep.
no, i didn't fall asleep but i came pretty damn close. every time a character closed their eyes to go to sleep, lie down or die, i felt teh sudden urge to fall over and go to sleep.

::: posted by Eir at 10:54 AM